Flabby, burnt-okra-colored miscreant Donald Trump finally accomplished some history: he united Canada. Unfortunately, as Dean pointed out, he united Canada against us.
Trump’s stupid tariffs, emotionally perforated poodle-barking threats, and endless attempts to turn our closest ally into a punching bag have finally pushed Canadian leaders from a position of polite disapproval into more of a “suck-it, poutine-hater” stance. Dean laid it all out and as much as it’s unpleasant in many ways, it was hard for all of us not to break out laughing at Trump (and so we did).
Provinces are yanking U.S booze from their shelves. Officials are considering retaliatory tariffs and boycotts involving energy, potash, and critical minerals. Even conservative members of provincial governments are openly mocking this imbecilic empty-egg-carton of a man. Canadians are famously kind people—but, as Dean reminded us, “nice” doesn’t mean *willing to be kicked in the privates by a demented Florida grifter tweeting from his golden sh*tter at 2am.*
Trump assumes every country will surrender if he creates enough chaos. You’d think that no country has done so would be a hint by now. They know—as any sentient human does—there’s no agreement to be reached with the convicted felon. He breaks treaties, invents deals that exist in the same way “they’re eating the dogs, eating the cats,” and will change course after flattery from a dictator. If a billionaire waves money and he catches a clear scent, he’d kick Barron over to get to it, deal be damned.
Canada increasingly gets what far too many American institutions can’t digest: Trump can’t negotiate in good faith because piles of human excrement tend not to be infused with it. He wants drama, submission, personal profit. Dean laughingly pointed out Canada’s lighting Trump’s playbook on fire because they get that its willingness to impose real economic consequences may be the only language Trump understands.
Trump thought he could bully Canada without consequences. But what Canada is preparing to do next could hit him—and MAGA—exactly where it hurts. Please become a paid subscriber to see how Canada is making Trump pay, and why Trump’s Saudi nuclear deal should terrify us...
