Wow this is wild that I listened to your TDW from April and now you’ve published this. I remember leading up to the 2016 election that my wife was worried shitless that Cankles would beat Hilary. I thought she was worrying for nothing. Since then I’ve tried to be more perceptive to her and every other woman’s concerns and not take it for granted. It’s clear nothing is off the table with these sick ass conservatives.
They can’t live with us and they can’t live without us. So in the 21st century they finally decided how to solve a good portion of their dilemma.
Because they need children, cooks, housekeepers, nurses, teachers, caregivers for their aging parents, diaper changers, and sex partners, they had to figure out how to maintain all those requirements. Barefoot and pregnant was a given. But what if she tired of the pregnant part or the barefoot part of it? And what if her discontent led her to refuse sex?
Abortion ban to the rescue (I agree that contraception is next). And to complete the trifecta, no-fault divorce laws eliminated. She will marry young, refuse or be denied higher education, and divorce will be eliminated unless HE wants one. The dilemma is solved — almost. To be absolutely certain a wife knows her place, he must vote for her. It is his duty as the ruler of the household and decider of all things. She will probably be gratuitous for this gesture, and maybe buy some fabulous new lingerie!
Listen, I appreciate what you’re writing here but this ongoing belief that women need to keep providing comfort and cookies for people who don’t respect them is flawed. Quit “loving” people who don’t love you back nor have the respect to take you seriously. Seriously.
I don't expect an apology. I do expect the script to flip when the abusers become the hunted. And they will. I do expect the politicians who voted to murder the women they have, because it is murder, plain and simple, to be remembered forever and bear the burden of being shunned and despised as they should be. But I don't expect an apology. I never got one when my friends died of AIDS and no one would take their bodies for cremation. I wont get one now. And frankly, I don't fucking want it. They can suck it. And they better watch their goddamn backs forever.
I stand right there with you- and we have to stop this in every way we may be able to. That includes family members who voted for this horror, colleagues, neighbors, wherever we are whenever we are in their company we must speak out for women, for our health care, our education, our careers- all of it. Thank you Dana. Your essay must be shared
yes, keep NAMING it. For those with no imagination will not listen until we name it. Misogyny, Racism, Christian Nationalism, Patriarchy, Greed, Pedophilia. And more.
Thank you from Australia. You pull all this together well but even males I know look uncomfortable and shrug when I describe any of this and say that’s America, not my business, while they fly first class to conduct business.I think it may be same with many men in the US. Not my business until it is my wife or daughter bleeding out.
I quit playing by their rules. I didn’t get “married”. I had a commitment ceremony. The government knows NOTHING and I think everyone should do the same thing. What’s a marriage license for anyway, control?
I didn’t change my name. I’m still using the name my parents gave me. Take that republicans, you can’t snag me with your tricks!
Abortion bans are a different story. It’s harder step around fertility and problematic pregnancy. I’m not so confident here. Although my days of child rearing are through, I have a daughter and a step daughter to worry about.
At a certain level, yes. I expect people to remember my warnings and acknowledge when I was write. Of course it hasn’t happened. Doesn’t change my core though. Sigh. 💙
Dana, I apologize if I come off as disagreeing with any word, sentence, or paragraph written here; I totally agree.
For years, I have felt Congress needed to act to formalize Roe; they did not. My understanding of the process may be lacking but I wonder if any of the Congresses between 1973 and now had enacted something, anything (e.g., officially designating abortion as a medical procedure, or designating the timeframe provided in Roe, or or or) would that have made the Dobbs decision unfounded?
Thank you for writing such a powerful and true message about the current state and crisis. You accurately articulated so many feelings and thoughts I have been having.
Extremely well written. Thank you for the job you do.
Oh, Dana. Where to begin. These are such harsh words...and they hit hard because they are so true. Every time women appear to be making gains, there is a backlash. And each time it becomes worse. The steady march of denying our human rights denies us of our agency. Chip. Chip. Chip. Without agency, we are nothing. They consider us to be little more than chattel or playthings, here to do their bidding, to shut up and take whatever they dish out. That, my friend, is hatred. I am saddened to write these words. But we must not let them win! We must be strong and stand together. Please keep speaking out. Please keep encouraging other women to do the same--and to act.
Wow this is wild that I listened to your TDW from April and now you’ve published this. I remember leading up to the 2016 election that my wife was worried shitless that Cankles would beat Hilary. I thought she was worrying for nothing. Since then I’ve tried to be more perceptive to her and every other woman’s concerns and not take it for granted. It’s clear nothing is off the table with these sick ass conservatives.
Right?? Like that was a serious psychic connection!!
They can’t live with us and they can’t live without us. So in the 21st century they finally decided how to solve a good portion of their dilemma.
Because they need children, cooks, housekeepers, nurses, teachers, caregivers for their aging parents, diaper changers, and sex partners, they had to figure out how to maintain all those requirements. Barefoot and pregnant was a given. But what if she tired of the pregnant part or the barefoot part of it? And what if her discontent led her to refuse sex?
Abortion ban to the rescue (I agree that contraception is next). And to complete the trifecta, no-fault divorce laws eliminated. She will marry young, refuse or be denied higher education, and divorce will be eliminated unless HE wants one. The dilemma is solved — almost. To be absolutely certain a wife knows her place, he must vote for her. It is his duty as the ruler of the household and decider of all things. She will probably be gratuitous for this gesture, and maybe buy some fabulous new lingerie!
Gilead is arriving with bullhorns and fireworks.
This is all so well-stated and also, so horrifying. Thank you. 💙
Listen, I appreciate what you’re writing here but this ongoing belief that women need to keep providing comfort and cookies for people who don’t respect them is flawed. Quit “loving” people who don’t love you back nor have the respect to take you seriously. Seriously.
Until women say, “I’m done,” nothing will change.
Wait wait, there were cookies? I love cookies. 😏
Also, I AM SO DONE. 💙
I don't expect an apology. I do expect the script to flip when the abusers become the hunted. And they will. I do expect the politicians who voted to murder the women they have, because it is murder, plain and simple, to be remembered forever and bear the burden of being shunned and despised as they should be. But I don't expect an apology. I never got one when my friends died of AIDS and no one would take their bodies for cremation. I wont get one now. And frankly, I don't fucking want it. They can suck it. And they better watch their goddamn backs forever.
With you. 💙
That’s the stat of affairs as I see it also. Despicable…. 🤬🤬
Truly despicable. I weep for my daughters.
Not the United States. Republicans
True. But right now, they’re ruling (and ruining) it for the rest of us.
I stand right there with you- and we have to stop this in every way we may be able to. That includes family members who voted for this horror, colleagues, neighbors, wherever we are whenever we are in their company we must speak out for women, for our health care, our education, our careers- all of it. Thank you Dana. Your essay must be shared
yes, keep NAMING it. For those with no imagination will not listen until we name it. Misogyny, Racism, Christian Nationalism, Patriarchy, Greed, Pedophilia. And more.
Thank you from Australia. You pull all this together well but even males I know look uncomfortable and shrug when I describe any of this and say that’s America, not my business, while they fly first class to conduct business.I think it may be same with many men in the US. Not my business until it is my wife or daughter bleeding out.
I quit playing by their rules. I didn’t get “married”. I had a commitment ceremony. The government knows NOTHING and I think everyone should do the same thing. What’s a marriage license for anyway, control?
I didn’t change my name. I’m still using the name my parents gave me. Take that republicans, you can’t snag me with your tricks!
Abortion bans are a different story. It’s harder step around fertility and problematic pregnancy. I’m not so confident here. Although my days of child rearing are through, I have a daughter and a step daughter to worry about.
God I hate the gatekeepers
Thanks for writing this, Dana.
(And also hello, it's been a while)
Thanks Eric—and hello back! 💙
Did you really expect an apology from these people? That’s not something they do.
Or to still not call you hysterical for telling them what is still to come?
At a certain level, yes. I expect people to remember my warnings and acknowledge when I was write. Of course it hasn’t happened. Doesn’t change my core though. Sigh. 💙
Wow that is so sick😢🤢🤮
Dana, I apologize if I come off as disagreeing with any word, sentence, or paragraph written here; I totally agree.
For years, I have felt Congress needed to act to formalize Roe; they did not. My understanding of the process may be lacking but I wonder if any of the Congresses between 1973 and now had enacted something, anything (e.g., officially designating abortion as a medical procedure, or designating the timeframe provided in Roe, or or or) would that have made the Dobbs decision unfounded?
Thank you.
Totally with you.
Thank you for writing such a powerful and true message about the current state and crisis. You accurately articulated so many feelings and thoughts I have been having.
Extremely well written. Thank you for the job you do.
Oh, Dana. Where to begin. These are such harsh words...and they hit hard because they are so true. Every time women appear to be making gains, there is a backlash. And each time it becomes worse. The steady march of denying our human rights denies us of our agency. Chip. Chip. Chip. Without agency, we are nothing. They consider us to be little more than chattel or playthings, here to do their bidding, to shut up and take whatever they dish out. That, my friend, is hatred. I am saddened to write these words. But we must not let them win! We must be strong and stand together. Please keep speaking out. Please keep encouraging other women to do the same--and to act.