20 Comments
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Robin Dumler's avatar

You've got to to love your people, dead or alive. Remember them at at their best & forget about the worst. Life is a mystery, live and love.... but never forget to vote those fuckers out !!!

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Dana DuBois's avatar

YESSSSSSSSS! We declined to get my dad--a hardcore Trump voter, pre-dementia--a ballot. I wish it had helped in Florida...

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Susie S's avatar

Your first two lines, Robin, got to me. Agreed. In fact, I love and agree with your whole comment!!! And, above all else, really pay attention to PBS NEWS. We NEED to vote those bastards out!!!

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Caryn Vesperman's avatar

I’m glad you’ve gotten some peace. Seeing my strong, independent and smart mom sink into the depths of dementia is so difficult. I’ve been on the phone hearing horrible things about me and how she didn’t need me managing her. I know it’s not her, but it still hurts. Fortunately medication has subdued that side of her. I understand exactly what you mean when you say your dad wouldn’t like seeing himself now. 🩷

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Thanks so much, Caryn--I'm sorry you found my story so relatable. but hope it also helped bring you some peace. It's never easy. 💜

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Michele Clark's avatar

My mom, a woman of temperate habits, lived to 98. But she would have wept to see herself the last ten or so years, she never would have wanted to be so diminished. She still knew us, her 3 kids but that was about it. These days it's hard to die.

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Dana DuBois's avatar

It really is. Thanks for your lovely comment--I think managing loved ones with dementia is an issue we can all relate to.

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Michele Clark's avatar

Yes.

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Neurodivergent Hodgepodge's avatar

You really are a blessing.

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Awww. You’re way too kind. Thank you. 💜💜💜

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Neurodivergent Hodgepodge's avatar

You chose the road less traveled. One of compassion.

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Thank you. Your words mean so much.

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Oh Franny, I’m no sorry. Thanks for sharing your story with us. 💜

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Franny's avatar

I so related to your relationship with your father! Mine, Angelo, 1914 born, WWII vet, had 3 daughters. More than once while we were growing up he had no qualms telling us he’d trade us all in for a son!

Thank God for my Mom who had the patience of a saint ….and the smarts! “Don’t pay any attention to him” … sizing up his “big brother, antagonizing behavior, we didn’t! He surpassed my Mom’s life by 10 yrs. living to 76. Diabetes, amputation, high blood pressure, hardening of the arteries, blindness - it all would befall him. I was fixing dinner for my two young daughters when the doctor called to say he had passed. I burst into tears. I asked the doctor why I wasn’t notified that he was failing … fast. I would have come to be with him. I knew my whole life my father would never have left me …no matter how much he chided us. I’ve had to live with that. I’ll be 73 next month, having lived longer than either of my parents.

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Neurodivergent Hodgepodge's avatar

Anytime 🤗

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Dan Perry's avatar

Lovely! Happy birthday to him indeed

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Thanks so much, Dan!

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David Keller's avatar

I lust turned as well. Still can’t quite believe it…

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Dana DuBois's avatar

Amazing! May we all be so lucky. 💜

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Pam frederick's avatar

You descibed my dad in his later years. The dementia actually gave him some peace. No more angry outbursts. Your dad looks happy and peaceful.

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