This was a difficult read but accurate and necessary. As a woman I didn’t feel anger as much as rage, not for me. Like you said we’ve lived through it, but for my children and grandchildren. I have the calluses and I want to guide the way for them, protect them, be their shield, and I will as long as I can but I am also forewarning them and teaching them, grandson and granddaughters. This is our battle and we can’t falter. If that sounds melodramatic. Open your eyes and face the reality of who and what these people are and what they are capable of.
Female. Raped in childhood - early on and immediately before puberty. A couple of pieces of missing time in my mental recall since then that suggest there are a few more assaults I haven’t been strong enough to recall yet (bear in mind that I had a photographic memory for decades).
So I’m unequivocally on your side. Call it when I see it, and do whatever I can to protect the vulnerable. And by the way, any vulnerable being. Human, ape, dog, wolf, cat, leopard, whale, hyrax, et cetera. Hurt any living being for “fun” and I am your enemy even if you don’t realize it.
There is too much cruelty in the world already. Fight it as much as you can. And by the way, honesty may hurt a bit but it beats being on the other side.
As an 87 year old woman, I find this article to be the most powerful and honest statement of what it has been like to be a woman on this planet! Thank you for your honesty and courage to expose what I (we) have experienced over and over again! My soul cries out in gratitude!
SPOTTTTT ON. Couldn’t agree more. So grateful you have put words to this - and linked all the components - to show how deeply, critically fundamental this issue is to democracy. It has broken my heart for years, and confounded me for all my life, that I so very rarely see men (even my liberal men friends) stand up meaningfully and/or routinely for women’s rights, women’s freedoms, women’s voices and their dignity. (Except when it benefits them. And I love men, don’t get me wrong!) I think linking the acceptance and promotion of these attitudes and behaviors to NOT COMPATIBLE WITH DEMOCRACY are just spot on. I’m so so heartened to hear you articulate all this. I just wish more men (and people) could say - and see - all this. I will pass this essay along. Thank you Thank you.
Same for me, Gale. I am an 84 year old woman who appreciates every word you have written in this article. I would have loved to have had this knowledge when my sons were impressionable teens.
Very powerful and eloquent words. Yes, we women have been shouting this for years! It is validating to see a man take up the cause so forcefully--and include steps for those who might wonder how to join him. Thank you, Lawrence Winnerman.
I’m one of the ‘lucky ones’ I was ‘only’ groped in a crowd. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. We must all work together to flush out and prosecute the scum.
Nothing "only" about groping, my friend. You are a victim just like countless others, myself included from the time I was seven. And I was never "raped" either, but the effects have been lifelong nightmares and panic attacks. We have each other and I wish you peace ...
Outstanding! On so many levels - this is outstanding. I'll be in discussions about this and how this is a man's problem/fight, and I don't have all the points lined up. This is a manual for these discussions for all of us. And I love how you close this out - you're right. These men are cowards because they benefit too much from the patriarchy. If they disrupt it, where will they be? And that tells us everything we need to know about them.
This is weird. Just the other day I picked up Rebecca Solnit's 2014 book of essays "Men Explain Things to Me." And there is an essay that is virtually this piece, without the benefit of knowing how horribly things were going to go wrong. How depressing.
Extremely disturbing but necessary. So truly sorry for your experience and the bigotry towards you. We have so far to go as a society.
You are amazing for dissecting this down to the core. The information about the online "brainwashing" and training was distressing. That is very scary stuff to have going on. Project 2925 and these "Christian Nationalists" are determined to drag us backwards, to make sure we know "our place". Yes, the connection of male chauvinism to democracy is quite clear as you explain it. So obvious in that we had two capable women who ran for President and what happened??? They preferred to elect the dumbest, most evil, corrupt fascist than a qualified woman. What more needs to be said!
This was a difficult read but accurate and necessary. As a woman I didn’t feel anger as much as rage, not for me. Like you said we’ve lived through it, but for my children and grandchildren. I have the calluses and I want to guide the way for them, protect them, be their shield, and I will as long as I can but I am also forewarning them and teaching them, grandson and granddaughters. This is our battle and we can’t falter. If that sounds melodramatic. Open your eyes and face the reality of who and what these people are and what they are capable of.
Thank you SJ. We’re so grateful for the feedback, and glad that you’re on our team in this fight.
Female. Raped in childhood - early on and immediately before puberty. A couple of pieces of missing time in my mental recall since then that suggest there are a few more assaults I haven’t been strong enough to recall yet (bear in mind that I had a photographic memory for decades).
So I’m unequivocally on your side. Call it when I see it, and do whatever I can to protect the vulnerable. And by the way, any vulnerable being. Human, ape, dog, wolf, cat, leopard, whale, hyrax, et cetera. Hurt any living being for “fun” and I am your enemy even if you don’t realize it.
There is too much cruelty in the world already. Fight it as much as you can. And by the way, honesty may hurt a bit but it beats being on the other side.
Thanks for your bravery.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, Virma. We are on each other’s side, and invite the decent people of the world to join us, friend. ❤️
Absolutely. The more of us out there, the kinder I hope the world will become. Thank you for your compassion!
And thank you for your bravery, Virma. Because obviously, you are extremely brave. God bless.
WELL SAID AND TRUE!
As an 87 year old woman, I find this article to be the most powerful and honest statement of what it has been like to be a woman on this planet! Thank you for your honesty and courage to expose what I (we) have experienced over and over again! My soul cries out in gratitude!
Extremely well written and a clarion call for all to stand up against this rot in our societies.
SPOTTTTT ON. Couldn’t agree more. So grateful you have put words to this - and linked all the components - to show how deeply, critically fundamental this issue is to democracy. It has broken my heart for years, and confounded me for all my life, that I so very rarely see men (even my liberal men friends) stand up meaningfully and/or routinely for women’s rights, women’s freedoms, women’s voices and their dignity. (Except when it benefits them. And I love men, don’t get me wrong!) I think linking the acceptance and promotion of these attitudes and behaviors to NOT COMPATIBLE WITH DEMOCRACY are just spot on. I’m so so heartened to hear you articulate all this. I just wish more men (and people) could say - and see - all this. I will pass this essay along. Thank you Thank you.
Same for me, Gale. I am an 84 year old woman who appreciates every word you have written in this article. I would have loved to have had this knowledge when my sons were impressionable teens.
Very powerful and eloquent words. Yes, we women have been shouting this for years! It is validating to see a man take up the cause so forcefully--and include steps for those who might wonder how to join him. Thank you, Lawrence Winnerman.
I’m one of the ‘lucky ones’ I was ‘only’ groped in a crowd. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. We must all work together to flush out and prosecute the scum.
I’m so sorry
PS And yes, flush them out and prosecute them. Every last one of them. It’s one of the major reasons Blue Amp Media exists.
Nothing "only" about groping, my friend. You are a victim just like countless others, myself included from the time I was seven. And I was never "raped" either, but the effects have been lifelong nightmares and panic attacks. We have each other and I wish you peace ...
GOP wants to protect their own abusers. They are viewed as winners.
Outstanding! On so many levels - this is outstanding. I'll be in discussions about this and how this is a man's problem/fight, and I don't have all the points lined up. This is a manual for these discussions for all of us. And I love how you close this out - you're right. These men are cowards because they benefit too much from the patriarchy. If they disrupt it, where will they be? And that tells us everything we need to know about them.
Thank you for this VERY POWERFUL and ACCURATE article! I appreciate your voice!!
This is weird. Just the other day I picked up Rebecca Solnit's 2014 book of essays "Men Explain Things to Me." And there is an essay that is virtually this piece, without the benefit of knowing how horribly things were going to go wrong. How depressing.
Very powerful story. I'm so sorry for your experiences, but thank you for sharing and pushing forward to overcome the evil in this world.
Wow! Thank YOU!
Extremely disturbing but necessary. So truly sorry for your experience and the bigotry towards you. We have so far to go as a society.
You are amazing for dissecting this down to the core. The information about the online "brainwashing" and training was distressing. That is very scary stuff to have going on. Project 2925 and these "Christian Nationalists" are determined to drag us backwards, to make sure we know "our place". Yes, the connection of male chauvinism to democracy is quite clear as you explain it. So obvious in that we had two capable women who ran for President and what happened??? They preferred to elect the dumbest, most evil, corrupt fascist than a qualified woman. What more needs to be said!