Don't Wanna Be Called A Nazi? Don't Do Nazi Sh*t.

Young Republicans, Congress Members, Trump. For Those Who Share Nazi Beliefs, Slogans & Symbolism, They Sure Are Prickly About The Label

I have this crazy idea.

Perhaps if Republicans don’t wish to be called Nazis, they should stop hanging with, quoting, publicly praising and hee-hawing in group chats about Nazis?

Also, maybe don’t decorate your congressional office like Hitler’s Airbnb?

Let’s start with the “Young Republicans.”

These geniuses got busted praising Hitler in their totally exclusive, velvet-roped group chats. I mean, look at this picture, and I dare you to tell me when you heard about these guys that you didn’t have this exact mental image of them?

I dare you.

These guys are like the human embodiment of “no one ever swiped right.” Master Race? Did they misread that as Master Bates?

Shockingly—and by that I mean not surprising in the slightest—”young” in MAGALand seems to mean til you’re like 40 or so. Yes, there were “young” Republicans in these chats well into an age range where minoxidil and stock portfolios are a thing.

Hell, they probably had their first crypto scams outta college over a decade ago! They grow up so fast, don’t they?

This one sure did:

Look, who am I to criticize who they want in their little secret, SS group?

But c’mon boys, marketing matters! If you’d named it “Mom’s Basement Republicans” or “The 40-Year Old Virgins” just think of the membership explosion!

Even just an “I too have a Göring poster on my wall” Facebook group could’ve done wonders.

Ok, let’s look at what they said and what that says about our society. These tighty-whities-clad chodes chuckled at a cornucopia of creative and keen observations. (That may be the most alliteration I’ve ever fit into one sentence! Ok, we move on).

Real laugh lines like “I love Hitler,” and mass rape is “epic” and “I’d go to the zoo if I wanted to watch monkey ]sic] play ball.” I mean, genius material, any way you slice it.

It makes you hope that perhaps in their future there’s a potential Turner Diaries 2: Electric Boogaloo Boys.

Oh and I know this will surprise you, but a likeminded goober who was birthed by the same primordial Himmler soup, JD Vance, is defending them.

I can’t wait til this guy’s half-Indian kids reach the age where they realize their power-humping dad literally made it more likely they’d suffer from a hate crime with his every action since becoming a politician. You must be so proud, sport-o.

Ok, only slightly off topic—just a quick question for those self-described “reasonable” Republicans among us.

Where do you think the Nazism of the Young Republicans came from? After whom do you think these castrato modeled their behavior?

Remember when there was no question, we all just hated Nazis? Why one of the highest grossing movies of its time and all time, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade could just have Harrison Ford saying this:

“Nazis. I hate these guys”

No controversy there. They were evil. We beat them. End of story.

Yet, for some reason you all thought the turkey-necked, goosestepper who said “there are good people on both sides,” wouldn’t reject a David Duke endorsement and talked about “sh*thole countries” would just be a blip.

Meanwhile, any high school senior studying cultural transmission could’ve told you the guy with the biggest mic, who never shuts the f*k up and has a cult following could change the very character of much of our nation.

You know, the guy who literally ran on slogan from the Nazi-supporting American party in the 1940’s?

Well done, f*king snapperheads.

And look, it’s not like he needed a second term for anyone to see Trump was making Nazism an acceptable, even dominant force on The Right.

Remember this guy, prominent among the January 6th traitors? He wasn’t rejected by them, he was one of the gang! And then Trump went ahead and pardoned him.

Meanwhile, only one day before the Jan 6th fascists stormed the Capitol, there was a member of the GOP House delegation, Rep. Mary Miller, with this nice little bundle o’ inspiration:

Each generation has the responsibility to teach the next generation. You know, if we win a few elections we’re still going to be losing unless we win the hearts of our children. It’s the battle. Hitler was right on one thing that whoever has the youth has the future. Our children are being propagandized

Congrats, Mary! If Young Republican chat rooms age 18-67 are reperesentative, you seem you’ve sure won the hearts and minds of the children. And kudos on suffering zero consequences for saying any of this, because your party supports free speech loves Hitler.

I could provide more examples, but it’s a nice day outside. So why not give you one from, oh…yesterday, then take a break and go and go to my local No Kings rally.

Especially the day after a power left over from the days of kings—pardons—let Trump do that to former GOP Congressman and serial criminal (yeah, redundant) George Santos. Who, btw, claimed he was Jewish (nope), a descendant of Holocaust survivors (nope) and made Hitler jokes on Facebook (yup).

So speaking of Congress, the The latest entry in the “We Swear We Totally Never Did Invasion of Paris Reenactments” sweepstakes (btw, 1940, just like America First—what a coincidence!) comes from GOP Rep. Dave Taylor. A man who sullies my state of Ohio with his generally crab louse-infested thoughts on the daily.

But he stepped it up recently, when he and/or his staff decided to fly a Swastika’d Amercian flag in his D.C. office. He claimed it was a “ruse.” But, and I know I’m spitballing here, I gotta say this looks rather un-ruse like.

Though, I do agree with Congressman I Have A Nazi Flag On My Wall that it’s gotta be some kind of ruse that anyone without cerebral colitis would support him or his party.

So they can go flying Nazi flags in their offices. But I digress.

It’s like a recent episode of Peacemaker where Agent Emilia Harcourt (Jennifer Holland) and Peacemaker (John Cena) end up in a Nazi-controlled America in a parallel universe and it goes like this:

H: I can’t believe you didn’t realize
we’re in Nazi world.
P: Come on. How was I supposed
to notice that?
H: Because of the copies
of Mein Kampf on every desk?
P: Think I’d be this buff
if I looked at books?
H: Or the giant
fucking mural of Hitler?
P: Oh, fuck. How’d I miss that?

Ring any bells, Taylor? Or, are you seriously going with it’s a ruse and I somehow didn’t see that Huge Nazi Flag On My Wall?

Could someone have played a trick on you? Sure. But how did you or someone not see the Swastika, numb nuts? Do you suffer from some form of Swastika blindness?

It’s ok, Dave. I know, you’re only 54, you’re too old to be this much of a cockeyed brain-tart a Young Republican! Yo probably missed the flag because you were too busy chatting with other “young” Republicans about the legendary Trail of Tears.

Look, folks, joking aside, these people, the young dweebs for one sexual experience ever with another human present, the swastika-adjacent Congressmen, Rep. Hitler Youth, they’re so far past dog-whistling.

At this point they’re driving around the block in their lowriders, blaring Wagner via a megaphone while quoting Nietzsche’s The Genealogy of Morals. They’re Nazis.

They repeat Nazi slogans, surround themselves with Nazi regalia, believe in Nazi philosophy.

We beat their asses once before, and we’ll do it again.

But to solve a problem, any problem, you must be willing to publicly diagnose it. Republicans are lousy with Nazis, fascists, totalitarians and criminals.

So let’s stop the hedging and call them what they are.

They’ve more than earned it.