The Sandwich Rebellion and the Tin Badge Tyrants

A Trump Administration that makes us all wanna toss our lunch finally finds an insurrection in Washington

By David Shuster

America under Trump, always an absurdity, has outdone itself yet again.

This week, a judge—bless his grasp of sanity—declared that Sean Dunn, age 37 and formerly employed by the Department of Justice, should not be dragged to the gallows for hurling a Subway sandwich at a federal officer. Yes, a sandwich.

Hotshot Italiano, oven roasted chicken, or veggie delight -- we may never know, for such matters are beneath the investigative abilities of the Trumpian Inquisition masquerading as a Justice Department.

Mr. Dunn’s alleged crime? He yelled at federal officers dispatched to the streets of Washington, D.C. and then engaged in a subversive act of culinary dissent.

For this, the tyrannical minds at the DOJ, flush with Trumpian righteousness and MAGA-colored delusions, decided to charge him with a felony—punishable by eight years in prison, or roughly the same sentence one might get for armed robbery. In a saner land, this would be satire.

In America these days, it is simply Wednesday.

The woman leading this prosecutorial show is none other than Jeannine Pirro, former Fox News host, current D.C. U-S attorney, and longtime consumer of boxed wine.

Pirro, along with Pam Bondi—herself a walking parody of justice—sought to crucify Mr. Dunn. Not because he posed a threat to society, but because he had the audacity to make their sacred uniformed police enforcers look ridiculous.

Consider the hysterics. The Trump Administration, whose collective moral compass spins like a roulette wheel, wept crocodile tears over one sandwich.

Meanwhile, on January 6th, their feral disciples beat police officers with flagpoles, fire extinguishers, and bear spray. Then, on Donald Trump’s first day in office this year, Old Man Orange pardoned every single one of them.

Yet Pam Bondi, that bleached sentinel of moral decay, declared on X: “If you touch any law enforcement officer, we will come after you.”

Bold words from a woman whose department coddled January 6th rioters like they were rowdy frat boys instead of treasonous thugs. And dare we mention Bondi’s whitewashing of the Jeffrey Epstein scandal?

Put it all together and the rule is clear. Hurl a light lunch at a police officer in protest against Trump, Bondi will come after you. But if you touch a child, or if Donald Trump did, she’s all good.

Bondi, like so many Trump cultists, is not interested in justice. She is interested in obedience, the more blind and brutal, the better.

Her proclamations are not grounded in a love of law, but based on her deep and abiding fear that the people might one day laugh too loudly at her, Pirro, and Trump…and possibly throw a tomato.

Let’s go back to the facts in the case of Mr. Dunn. Following his verbal tirade, sandwich toss, brief run from the police, and arrest, he confessed to the crime instantly: “I did it, I threw a sandwich,” he told the officers.

No police body armor was pierced. No bones were broken. No eyes gouged out. No riot ensued.

Dunn’s act was, by every standard known to human civilization, a symbolic gesture—humiliating to the target perhaps, but not harmful. And therein lies the rub: authoritarians fear humiliation more than death.

It is the one wound that will not heal.

The Bondi-Pirro cabal, perhaps to make themselves feel better, issued an arrest warrant charging Dunn with felony assault. Then, DOJ goons demanded Dunn be kept in jail. But the judge declared the felony charge was “excessive” and released Dunn on his own recognizance.

Dunn will have his next court appearance in September. Legal experts say he and the prosecutors will likely resolve this at some point with a deal. Dunn will plead guilty to a misdemeanor and perhaps pay a dry-cleaning fine.

In the meantime, Bondi keeps insisting that Dunn’s action was an assault on government itself.

She thundered on X that Dunn “is an example of the deep state we have been up against for seven months as we work to refocus DOJ. You will not work in this administration while disrespecting our government and law enforcement.”

Unless, of course, you work for Pam Bondi.

Multiple news organizations recently reported that Bondi hired a J6 rioter named Jared Wise as a senior advisor at DOJ. Five years ago, during the capitol insurrection, police body cameras recorded Wise calling officers “Nazis.” Wise also urged fellow rioters to attack the police and “kill them.”

Bondi’s office issued a statement saying, “Jared Wise is a valued member of the Justice department, and we appreciate his contributions to our team.”

In any rational republic, Pam Bondi would be laughed off the public stage and sentenced to a long, contemplative retirement. Preferably in a quiet padded room far from the temptation of Twitter.

Instead, Bondi maintains her power -- a dangerous thing in the hands of someone so breathtakingly unburdened by introspection.

If there is one immutable law in American politics, it is this: the loudest champions of law and order are often the first to trample on both when they’re inconvenient.

And in the GOP, justice, like patriotism, is a costume to be worn or discarded depending on the audience. And Pam Bondi never runs out of outfits.

All of this is a reminder that a liberal who throws a sandwich will face prosecution, while MAGA conservatives who beat police will walk free. The hypocrisy is not a glitch of this administration but its founding principle.

If our republic falls, it won’t be due to tanks in the streets or because of a lunatic President. It will be thanks to enablers like Bondi—the Trump sycophants who treat the constitution like a napkin to wipe their mouths with after a feast.

Still, let us thank Sean Dunn. Not for his Subway sandwich and his aim, but for his unwillingness to bow before the pedestal of tyrants.

Perhaps Dunn did not change history. But he did, in a delicious moment, expose the Trump team’s utter insanity.

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David Shuster is an Emmy award winning broadcast journalist who is best known for his work at NBC News and as an anchor MSNBC. He is a contributor to Blue Amp Substack and co-host of our weekly show (Thursdays, 2pm et, on Substack), “Amped Up w/ Cliff Schecter.”