Let the Wookie Win . . .

Donald Trump and MAGA have no idea who they really are

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted

- Jim Carroll

How many people do you know who would go to a movie theater to watch “Star Wars” and cheer for the Empire?

I was 16 when the movie came out. There was this kid in our neighborhood. He was one of the snot-nosed (literally) little kids who laughed when other kids got stung by bees. He was about 12 at the time and probably weighed close to 200 lbs. though he was only about five feet tall. His hair was long and greasy, and he always smelled like a combination of peanut butter and soiled underwear. He collected roadkill (not kidding), was always chosen last in the neighborhood pickup games and my little brother (who was about the same age) said that the kid’s breath always smelled like raw sewage (that’s a euphemism). The kid liked to torture animals, actually did pull wings off of flies and told anyone who would listen, and several who refused to, of his fantasies about stealing a tank from Fort Knox and riding through our neighborhood killing people indiscriminately. His racist tendencies led to talk of specific targeting on more than one occasion.

His father was not around. He was an only child and his mother, if memory serves, was a decent woman who was constantly frustrated by her recalcitrant son’s dangerously psychotic activities.

Believe it or not, I think he grew up and became a bank manager with five kids and three wives. Lost a lot of weight, then put it back on. The last I heard he was a lobbyist for some Eastern Kentucky politician who believes in chemtrails.

He’s the only person I ever knew to cheer for the Empire in Star Wars. I do not remember his first name, but his last name I think was Jennings, and I’m beginning to wonder if he was related to Scott Jennings of CNN infamy.

CNN’s resident MAGA Meme, Jennings got laughed off television this week when he said, "I think it's time we take a new look at the reign of Emperor Palpatine. I think he's getting a bad rap. He took on an entrenched deep state in the Jedi council. He tried to bring order, he wanted free and fair and reciprocal trade around the galaxy."

Not enough? How about; "He protected law and order, which I think was warranted given their rebellious activities. He defended the Empire against unelected hippies and violent protesters. I'm just saying it's been a while, we may need to take a look at this again and say, 'Was he right?'"

I don’t know how to explain this in terms Scott can understand, but I’ll try. There is no reinterpreting Emperor Palpatine. He is a fictional character written as the antagonist (that’s the bad guy Scott) in a story about good versus evil. He’s written as an evil character. There’s no subtlety or ambiguity in either the script or the performance on screen. So, if you’re trying to reinterpret a fictional bad guy to suit your needs in reality, then you are hopelessly lost. It’s time to look at yourself in the mirror if you are trying to tell us the over-the-top cliched, fictional bad guy is somehow – in real life – the good guy.

But, hey it doesn’t stop there. Either the entire MAGA empire has dipped into the kind of hallucinogens that make you gnaw off your own extremities in a delusional fit of angst, or they’re so entirely numb to any foray into shared experiences that they firmly believe both Darth Vader and Palpatine represent the forces for decency and justice.

On May 4^th, US Border Patrol Chief Patrol Agent Gregory K. Bovino posted on “X” this wonderful sentiment. “So the border can’t be closed quickly? We find your lack of faith disturbing . . . May the 4^th be with you! Attached was a scene from Rogue One in which Darth Vader went on a murderous rampage as he tried to retrieve the plans to the Death Star as they were passed to Princess Leia.

Again, someone in the Trump empire tried to justify the regime’s lawless actions through the actions of one of the most notorious bad guys in the history of fiction. I mean, I guess if you had the Devil slaughtering innocents you could accomplish the same thing – but perhaps the “zing” wouldn’t be there. And it was May 4^th.

Finally, the White House also posted; “Happy May the 4^th to all, including the Radical Left Lunatics who are fighting so hard to bring Sith Lords, Murderers, Drug Lords, Dangerous Prisoners, and well known MS-13 Gang Members back into our Galaxy. You’re not the Rebellion – you’re the Empire. May the 4^th be with you.”

Underneath the post was a picture of a beefed up Donald Trump holding a red light saber – the color of the Sith. And this horrifying little analogy also missed the point; the Empire actually held power in the Star War Universe as well as the highest office in the Galaxy. The Rebels did not.

Again; fiction. And the Trump regime is always siding with the Empire.

So, perhaps you can understand why Bruce Springsteen during a concert he held in England this week said, “In my home, the America I love, the America I've written about, that has been a beacon of hope and liberty for 250 years, is currently in the hands of a corrupt, incompetent and treasonous administration."

The 75-year-old rocker, who later shared a transcript and video of his remarks on his website and YouTube channel, asked supporters of democracy to "raise your voices against authoritarianism and let freedom ring!"

He may have been born in the U.S.A, but tramps like Bruce are definitely born to run. Makes no difference, Trump had a whacked out response to Bruce - perhaps because of a Tenth Avenue Freeze Out. Friday he responded on his social media platform, by claiming Bruce is "just a pushy, obnoxious JERK, who fervently supported Crooked Joe Biden, a mentally incompetent FOOL, and our WORST EVER President, who came close to destroying our Country."

And, of course, Trump being Trump he had to personally insult Bruce; "Springsteen is 'dumb as a rock,' and couldn't see what was going on, or could he (which is even worse!)? This dried out 'prune' of a rocker (his skin is all atrophied!) ought to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT until he gets back into the Country, that's just 'standard fare.' Then we'll all see how it goes for him!"

Palpatine/Trump is also issuing a Sith-like threat to Bruce which is both silly and dangerous. Maybe he’ll get blinded by the light. But what do you expect from an idiot who identifies with a fictional evil villain? He’s too busy salivating over the free jet he got from Qatar that he’ll never use and will spend our hard-earned tax dollars on to refurbish just in time for him to retire with it to his presidential library – which will probably be in Moscow.

What Trump doesn’t realize is that by siding with a fictional evil villain he’s already giving us a bit of foreshadowing about his endgame. It will probably be just as mean, loud and disastrous as the celluloid fiction Trump embraces. He can’t see it, because he and every one of his greasy minions in his administration have crawled into his head and nested like the worm that ate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s brain.

I have to wonder if Trump cleans his skin with a krypton laser.

Remember what Jim Carroll wrote on the album “Catholic Boy”;

You get nothin' back for all you've saved
Just eternity in a spacious grave
She said, "Nothing is true, everything is permitted"

Things just go from bad to worse
Starts like a kiss and ends like a curse
But nothing's true, she said everything is permitted

So for all you kids out there who thought Donald Trump began with a kiss, he really is ending with a curse. Every bit of that is true and he wishes everything was permitted.

But even Darth and Palpatine ultimately failed. Maybe they should read Nemik’s manifesto from “Andor” since they love the Darth Vader slaughter scene in “Rogue One” so much; “Remember this. Freedom is a pure idea. . . The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that.”

Or, Hell, just remember Han Solo. Don’t challenge the good guys.

You should always let the Wookie win - for obvious reasons.

Brian Karem is an award-winning reporter, columnist, and author of "Free the Press," and seven others books. He has a popular podcast and Substack, "Just Ask The Question,” as well as a related Substack "Reporter’s Notebook.” You SHOULD subscribe to BOTH

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