DID TRUMP'S TEAM JUST FIRE ELON MUSK FROM DOGE?

Dressing up in costumes. Playing silly games. Hiding out in treetops. Shouting out rude names - Peter Gabriel

Did Donald Trump Just Fire Elon Musk?

Well, well, well… looks like it’s bromance on the rocks for Trump and Elon, folks! Also, Bromance on the Rocks may be the only drink Pete Hegseth hasn’t imbibed to chase a keg-stand during work hours. But I digress!

Trump’s legal team just filed a court briefing claiming that Elon Musk doesn’t run DOGE—the fake, as in non-Senate approved, Department of Government Oversight & Efficiency. Either way, let’s be honest, it’s about as efficient as a dial-up internet connection circa 1998. But the real question? Did Trump just throw Musk under the bus?

Did Drumph, in a rare moment of brutal honesty (or, more likely, sheer pettiness), have his legal team admit Musk isn’t actually in charge? Or did Elon just get fired from a position he thought he had? So many questions!

Trump’s Cavern of Insecurity Strikes Again

Anything’s possible when an amateurish, emotionally-debased, toddler-esque group of tools takes over the government. So it’s hard to know exactly what’s going on. It’s Lord-of-the-Flies chaos, my friends. That’s all Trump’s life has ever known.

He’s pathologically incapable of sharing the spotlight, and Musk has been getting a lot of that lately—whether it’s for tanking Twitter, having his 48th-ish kid or turning his once-seemingly-revolutionary companies into laughingstocks.

And Trump? He’s been stewing in a broth of bubbling resentment, legal troubles and shotgunning Cherry-Cola-flavored Oreos. Not to mention ranting on Truth Social and watching Musk get the kind of press he thinks he deserves. You know this has been driving him crazy (and it feels so good). Of course, it was easy for many of us to predict we’d be here at some point. There’s no way Trump would ever let Elon be the billionaire See: only billionaire, if you count likely debt) getting all the attention.

So, Did Musk Just Get Canned?

Unlikely, as Trump has as much respect for what he puts in court filings as he does for Haitian immigrants in Springfield, OH, or walking down ramps under his own power. The problem, when our legal system fails to hold him accountable, is little things like perjury don’t worry him much. But, every indication is that Trump wants Elon gone.

Trump’s team is saying, “No, no, Elon’s not actually in charge.” Which, of course, raises the question—was he ever? Adding to this, from none other than the right-wing NY Post, comes a quote directly from the apricot dingbat himself, who said he’d originally hoped to hire “somebody smarter” to run Doge! (HA! insert dumb Elon emoji from Twitter). And now Trump’s saying Elon’s just an “advisor."

Womp womp.

There’s so much good here: 1) Off-the-charts Schadenfreude when a lout like Elon gets his comeuppance. I only wish it were worse; 2) Trump, who thinks injecting Mr. Clean and repeating “man, woman, camera” makes him smart..it’s funny every time he brings up intelligence; 3) This is the important one: The more civil war among Trump staff & sycophants (Steve Bannon is going STRAIGHT AFTER MUSK), the less harm they can do and more likely we beat them. So, game on!

So, Did Musk Just Get Played: YES

Did Musk get played by the guy who stiffed more contractors than he did porn stars outside his marriage(s)? A pitchman who tried to sell steaks but likes his well-done with ketchup? (when it’s not on the Mar-a-Lago walls)?

Did Musk actually believe Trump was going to let him run anything? Because if so, congrats, Elon—ya been Trumped. Join an enormous club of people who thought they had a deal with this irradiated jabberwocky only to end up on the wrong side of Trump’s utter immorality. And, as you’re a younger, less charismatic species of Trump with slightly better fake hair, how do you not know that when it comes to dealings with Trump, as CIA honcho, Ward Abbott, said to Jason Bourne in The Bourne Supremacy, “this is how every story ends.”

Lies, Backstabbing, and…More Lies!

Of course, the other option is that Trump was lying the whole time—like, no way! Maybe Musk really was running DOGE, but now that things are getting legally dicey, Trump’s doing what he always does: pretending he doesn’t know the guy. Met him once. Seemed like he was an ok guy. And such.

He did it to Michael Cohen. He did it to Paul Manafort. And I’m pretty sure if we ever again are lucky enough to get him in the position of criminal defendant, he’ll say “that guy, Trump, with the piss-cotton-candy hair and tie hanging below his eggs (which, are overpriced b/c of Trump)…only met him once.

Musk should’ve seen this coming. But hey, the man did spend $44 billion on $32 billion website he doesn’t know how to run, then fired 3/4 of its staff and turned it into a Nazi jamboree, leading its value to now be estimated at around $7 billion. And this is the only company of his not kept afloat by federal government subsidies and hasn’t seen many of its units blow up.

So maybe Trump was right about needing to hire someone smarter for Doge.

Will Musk Fight Back?

Now, the real entertainment will be seeing whether Musk takes all this public humiliation or tries to strike back. Because let’s face it—he isn’t exactly known for restraint. Maybe he fires off a sad little tweet about how he was “too busy launching rockets” to care. Maybe he tries to out-crazy Trump in public feuds, which would be like watching two raccoons fight over a two-week-old, mold-encrusted Whopper.

Whatever happens next, one thing’s for sure—Trump and Musk were never really friends. Neither of them understands that part of the human experience. You must have reached a level emotionally at least a year beyond Musk’s kid in the oval office for that.

They’re just two fragile, desperate nepo-billionaires using each other for clout. And now? Now, it may just be war. Here’s hoping! Pass the popcorn.

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VIDEO ON DEMAND!

Our Live Stream Discussing Trump & Elon’s, um…current situation :). WATCH!!

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